I’ve Been Thinking . . . About A Better Place

We returned last night from a trip to Breckenridge.  By a combination of departing later in the morning than normal, driving about eight of the eleven hours, and having my “passenger nap” interrupted multiple times by the buffeting of a strong crosswind, I got to bed later than normal; yet the dogs, being creatures of habit, awoke me at their prescribed time.  (Their naps across Kansas were not interrupted by the buffeting of the wind, so they were rested and ready.)

This was our fourth trip to Breck, though our first was a couple of day trips from Golden so we could snowshoe.  (First time snowshoeing and we discovered to our surprise that we loved it.  We love to hike the mountains in the summer; it was just like that in a physical sense, but with a completely different perspective in the snow.)  This was our first trip to Breck with two dogs.We have found over the years that Colorado is a dog-friendly place, and Breck particularly so.  When we stopped to look in a store window, the shopkeeper would invariably invite us to bring in the dogs.  Shops would keep water bowls on the sidewalk (dogs need to hydrate just as we do).  One of our dogs is a puppy who knows no strangers.  Lexi, on the other hand, is a rescue who is more traumatized by her previous situation than we realized.  She frequently barks somewhat aggressively at dogs she meets on the sidewalk, and unpredictably at some humans.

Another thing we noticed this trip is that, not only were the people we encountered dog-friendly, but they were openly people-friendly.  More than once I agreed with Nancy’s assessment that the people there seemed happy, frequently smiling their way down the street.  It was pretty common for us to have brief conversations with strangers on the street or at the table next to us in a restaurant.

An extraordinary example of how thoughtful people were occurred when Nancy had been eyeing a particular backpack in a store.  When she took me over to show it, another woman was inspecting it and discussing it with her husband and mother.  We watched for a moment to see if they made a decision, until Nancy decided that if she was still thinking about it later, we could come back to see if it was still there.  As we were walking out of another store, we saw the group coming in and the woman carrying the backpack.  Overhearing my relatively low volume question to Nancy about whether that was the one she wanted, the woman suddenly stopped and asked if she had somehow purchased the backpack “out from under” Nancy.  The implication in my mind clearly was that she would work out an exchange with Nancy.  Nancy graciously declined.

Waitstaff and salesclerks were friendly beyond their managers’ training to treat the customer nicely.  Their friendliness is more remarkable in the context of their living arrangements.  The housing market in Breck is crazy.  Billionaires – some international – are scooping up properties sight-unseen and driving up prices.  Many are buying condos and townhouses they have no intention of staying in, only to use them as short-term rentals on Airbnb, VRBO, and local property management companies.  The result is a lack of affordable rental housing for the waitstaff and salesclerks.  Yet they’re happy to be there and friendly to those of us staying in a place that they might otherwise have rented as an apartment.

The friendliness of the customers and their waitstaff and salesclerks stood in dark contrast to a brief article I noticed online while we were there.  A customer at a MacDonalds drive-through was being extraordinarily demanding about his coffee drink, berating the employee and demanding multiple times that they remake it to his complete satisfaction.  Finally, the manager came to window and told the customer he needed to go find another place that could meet his expectations, and that he was banned from returning.  She explained when he asked why that she would not tolerate his treatment of the employees.

The story reminded of other stories over the past couple of years of bad behavior directed towards clerks and waitstaff.  Examples range from a note on a credit card receipt with a zero on the tip line that posed something to the effect, why should I give you 18% when I only give 10% to Jesus; an incident where three women physically assaulted a restaurant hostess because she wouldn’t seat them inside if they refused to wear masks, which was a city health requirement at the time; and most dramatically, a man who got into a heated argument with a grocery clerk over a mask requirement, then returned with a gun and killed her.Also while in Breck, I began reading Pity the Reader, which is a book of Kurt Vonnegut’s teachings about writing that was organized with commentary by Suzanne McConnell.  When Vonnegut was asked in an interview what was his favorite “work of art” by his children at that point in time, he indicated that it was a letter his youngest daughter wrote to an “irascible customer” while she was working as a waitress in the summer of 1978:

Dear Mr. X,

As a newly trained waitress I feel that I must respond to the letter of complaint which you recently wrote to the ABC Inn.  Your letter has caused more suffering to an innocent young woman this summer than the inconvenience you experienced in not receiving your soup on time and having your bread taken away prematurely and so on.

I believe that you did in fact receive poor service from this new waitress.  I recall her as being very flustered and upset that evening, but she hoped her errors, clumsy as they were, would be understood sympathetically as inexperience.  I myself have made mistakes in serving.  Fortunately, the customers were humorous and compassionate.  I have learned so much from these mistakes, and through the support and understanding of other waitresses and customers in the span of only one week, that I feel confident now about what I am doing, and seldom make mistakes.

There is no doubt in my mind that Katharine is on her way to becoming a competent waitress.  You must understand that learning how to waitress is very much the same as learning how to juggle.  It is difficult to find the correct balance and timing.  Once these are found, though, waitressing becomes a solid and unshakable skill.

There must be room for error even in such a finely tuned establishment as the ABC Inn.  There must be allowance for waitresses being human.  Maybe you did not realize that in naming this young woman you made it necessary for the management to fire her.  Katharine is now without a summer job on Cape Cod, and school is ahead.

Can you imagine how difficult it is to find jobs here now?  Do you know how hard it is for many young students to make ends meet these days?  I feel it is my duty as a human being to ask you to think twice about what is of importance in life.  I hope that in all fairness you will think about what I have said, and that in the future you will be more thoughtful and humane in your actions.

Sincerely, Nanette Vonnegut

I remember being on a plane when I was consulting.  I had just closed my briefcase and had it setting on my lap as I was about to put it under the seat in front of me when the flight attendant appeared with a fresh pot of coffee.  As she was reaching across me to hand the cup to the passenger in the window seat, the pot fell over, delivering the steaming hot coffee into my lap.  I quickly tilted my briefcase so that the coffee ran off like a waterfall.  After seeing that I wasn’t upset, she joked that it was a good thing I had that briefcase on my lap or I would have been singing soprano.  Why wasn’t I mad?  It was an accident.  She was sorry.  I was lucky enough to have my briefcase to divert the coffee, I wasn’t going to sing soprano, which I thought was funny, and she shared my humor at the situation.  No harm, no foul, no negative consequences.

Life is full of wonderous and humorous things.  Perhaps if we can stop ruminating on the negative, our perceived grievances, if we can collectively engage our minds in those wondrous and humorous things, we can improve our lives and those of everyone around us.  We can make our world a better place.